


Oops, that's a dude.

by kbirb



Series: Little AUs, as requested by my tumblr followers [5]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2015-07-03
Packaged: 2018-04-07 10:10:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4259412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kbirb/pseuds/kbirb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve was under a lot of pressure to throw a bachelor party. Mistakes were to be had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oops, that's a dude.

**Author's Note:**

> A little thing for mvrgaerytyrell on tumblr, who requested a Stucky AU for "“you hired me to be the surprise stripper for your friend at this bachelor/bachelorette party and they did not take it well and threw both of us out in the freezing cold"

Things that had come out of nowhere in the past week: Tony proposing to Pepper, Steve being asked to be the best man, and the wedding being in a month because the couple just couldn’t wait to get hitched. (Tony’s wording, clearly). Steve was honored to be the best man, he was, but that meant he had about 3 weeks to plan a bachelor party. At least he wasn’t poor Sharon Carter, Pepper’s maid of honor… She was expected to throw a bachelorette party and help plan the wedding.

In three weeks, Steve needed to figure out where to go, who to invite, and he figured he should hire a stripper (Tony would probably kill him if he didn’t). The guest list was first- Steve was the best man because Rhodey, Tony’s best friend since childhood, was deployed overseas currently. So, Steve couldn’t invite him, and Tony didn’t really hang out with too many people these days. Bruce Banner, a college friend, was first on the list. Steve decided to invite his own friend Sam, and then reached out to a few of Tony’s childhood friends from a list Rhodey sent him. Tony and Steve had hung out with the same group in college and some of their friends lived close enough. The last invitee was Pepper’s brother and by then the party list had definitely grown.

As for location, Sharon and Steve had played a game of cards, and she had won Tony and Pepper’s apartment. It was huge, had a dance floor, and was the prime location for any party. Ever. With that location out, Steve figured the guys could go out to a few clubs and then head back to his own apartment. It was small, but big enough.

With the date for the wedding set, Steve knew it was customary to throw the parties in the week leading up. Since Tony was paying for everyone to fly down to the Bahamas for the actual wedding about two days before, Steve and Sharon coordinated to throw the parties that Monday.

That Monday rolled around, and everyone crammed into Steve’s apartment. He’d hired a stripper to come around 10pm. He’d just said “bachelor’s party” and the woman on the phone gave him a price. It did feel a little cramped, but when everyone was wasted later it’d be fine.

Club hopping went well. For all the partying Tony had done in college (and honestly high school, too)he still handled his alcohol horribly. By the second club, he was so drunk that Steve had to walk him out; by the fourth club, they had cut him off alcohol. There was only one more club left, and then they had completed a circle and were in Steve’s neighborhood. Tony was also sober enough to function once more, and it was 9:45.

They all got back into the apartment, cranked up the music, and got out the beer. Laughing and chatting with everyone, Steve awaited the arrival of the stripper. Who Tony had loudly been crowing he couldn’t wait to meet, much to the group’s chagrin. 

A loud knock at the door stopped the conversation, and everyone cheered as Steve went to open the door. There was another knock, and Steve heard a man’s voice announce “POLICE! Open up!”

Horrified, Steve looked at the group as he pulled open the door. There was no “hot lady stripper” as Tony had been excited for all night. No, instead there was a male cop in front of him. In Steve’s drunken state, he couldn’t help thinking well, he could definitely dance on me… But he decided to keep that fact to himself.

Sam slowly turned off the music. “Uh, sorry sir, was there a noise complaint?”

Everyone professed apologies as the cop stepped into the room. His uniform was a little tight, and Steve once again found himself admiring the cop.

And then, everything hit the fan… Fast. Within seconds of the cop yelling out “No, but there will be soon!” and the cop hitting the stereo, everyone starting freaking out. The man was dancing literally out of his pant, a bunch of the straight guys looked horrified, and the others were letting loose screams of joy. And Tony? He started screaming at Steve.

“Steve! What did you do? Holy shit make it stop! Steve Steve Steeeeve!”

So Steve scrambled to turn off the music, much to the now pantsless stripper’s confusion. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, I just… I thought I got a female? The groom, well, he…”

“I’m sorry, but my agency hires out males and females, so if you don’t specify.” The stripper shrugged. “Well then they call in one of the hire end strippers. Like me.”

Tony had gotten pretty drunk again, and he was also bright red. With anger, apparently, because he just kept shrieking at Steve. It was weird, because Steve had always thought Tony was bisexual, but he really was furious. And, next thing Steve and the stripper knew they were out in the cold,

“And take your pants, too!” 

They sat in silence for a little bit, Steve still had a beer in his hand.

“What’s awkward about this,” he joked, “is that this is my apartment.”

The stripper laughed and grabbed the bag he’d stowed in the hall of the apartment complex. “Is there anywhere I can get changed?”

The two men walked down to a bar Steve frequented often. It was only 10, so the place was still packed, but the stripper slipped quickly through the crowd. Steve settled at the bar and ordered a beer, assuming he’d be spending the remainder of the evening alone, having paid the agency ahead of time. Much to his surprise, the stripper slipped on to the stool next to him and called for a rum and coke. Thinking of him as “the stripper” was beginning to feel derogatory, so Steve turned to ask him his name. He was pleasantly surprised by the man next to him; he’d been checking him out for a while now, but he also looked good in his jeans and flannel, too.

He smiled at the stripper and asked for his name. 

“James, but my friends call me Bucky.” The guy had an easy going smile. “And I’m sorry about the mess.”

They spent the life talking and laughing about the mistake. The more they talked, the more Steve respected the man. He apparently stripped to get through vet school, because he didn’t want a future burdened by a mountain of debt. He was used to women who didn't want strip teases and just wanted the action, which he explained when Steve (joking) pointed out he had cheated them out of something fun. 

"Tony probably would have taken it better if you'd let him have some suspense."

Around 11:30, Sam sent Steve a text that the guys had cleared out.

_SW: Tony says he’ll probably forgive you and you can probably be his best man still._  
SR: Oh, cool, well, keep him sober for me??  
SW: Yeah, no problem. We’re all out now, you can come back to your own home now. 

Steve informed Bucky that he was thinking of heading back, and the brunette expressed his disappointment. So, Steve did something a little reckless, but sometimes you just need to be.

EXTRA BIT THAT I WASN'T GOING TO INCLUDE BUT W/E:

The next morning, Steve woke up and stretched, careful not to hit the man lying next to him. Getting up to pee, he noticed how sore he felt. But it was a good kind of sore. Looking in the mirror while he was his face, he smiled at the line of bruises dotting his collarbones. And stomach.

Heading back the bed, he marveled at the naked shape in his bed. Bucky stirred when Steve crawled back into bed. “Good morning, one night stand.” He muttered, snuggling up to Steve. 

“It doesn’t have to be.”

They spent the morning lazy in bed. Bucky traced the hickeys he had left on Steve, and Steve crawled under the sheets to recreate the night before.

And when he told Tony, he got the response:

_TS: WHO THE FUCK SLEEPS WITH THE STRIPPER? GOODY TWO SHOES STEVEN GRANT ROGERS. HOLY WOW._

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I own no claim to these characters, all rights go to Marvel and the Marvel Cinematic Universe.


End file.
